Thursday, May 11, 2017

It's funny because it's true

From the Onion:
Acknowledging that she once considered conceiving a child to be the greatest threat to her future, local woman Rebecca Davis confirmed Wednesday that she has transitioned from being terrified of getting pregnant to being terrified she can’t get pregnant. “I’m just really scared that it may never happen at this point,” said the 34-year-old woman who has closed the chapter of her adult life when the sight of a negative pregnancy test brought on a wave of pure relief and is now consumed by anxiety that she may never see a blue plus sign. “All we can do is keep trying.” At press time, a desperate Davis was reportedly picking up fertility medication from the same pharmacy where she had once frantically purchased Plan B.

13 comments:

Unknown said...

The Onion used to do satire. Now they seem to stick to straight reporting.

Chase said...

Saw this yesterday. Brtutal.

How many women out there aborted their only chance(s?) at having a baby? Oh, our culture is so evil.

Samuel Nock said...

The solution for childless women nearing the end of their child-bearing years is simple:

Start identifying as a woman in her fertile years. Problem solved.

Dane said...

I saw her photo. She's still reasonably attractive considering her age. i assume at 24 she was cool, confident and drowning in potential suitors.
What a difference 10 years make. She's hit the wall and realized the ocean of suitors has become a stream and each succeeding year threatens to become a desert.

I doubt her sudden case of baby rabies would be attractive any sane man or non gamma. The truth is if she were wife and mother material she would be a wife and mother already.

Dane said...

Oy Vey I might have mis read. “All we can do is keep trying.” which means there is an unfortunate soul shackled to her.

Timmy3 said...

Can't force a woman to have a baby when she can. Something wrong with their beliefs. As if having babies in their fertile years is slavery. Being forced to be supported by a man is a bad thing. Empowerment means doing everything a man does except supporting a family. They only want immediate satisfaction.

Kentucky Headhunter said...

A much more pressing concern...

http://www.theonion.com/article/pepperidge-factory-farm-under-fire-for-inhumane-tr-37881

The Pepperidge Farm people are monsters. Monsters, I tell you!

dc.sunsets said...

A mob raised amidst "unlimited resources" is populated with perpetual children who live in the perpetual NOW. None of this is surprising.

Mr.MantraMan said...

"Logan's Run" had more adult acting people than girrrrrl powwwwr chickies.

Bob Loblaw said...

It's funny because it's true

More like it's so true it's past funny and off into "just the way things are". Nearly every woman I know at work is or was in this situation. I recall one woman in particular bemoaned the fact that she'd had three abortions while she was trying to build a career, and now that she was ready for children she couldn't conceive.

I got the feeling she believed the career building part was a necessary step on the way to having a family, and following the logic that meant she had to have abortions to have children. I think this is a pretty normal thing for women to think, too.

Our culture is beyond screwed up.

Matthew Morgan said...

I got the feeling she believed the career building part was a necessary step on the way to having a family, and following the logic that meant she had to have abortions to have children. I think this is a pretty normal thing for women to think, too.

It's really what she wanted in a partner, so of course she thought and acted as if that's what a partner would want in her. Because acting like a man is the best way to attract a man, am I right?

Jackie Chun said...

Savage.

SciVo said...

Yeah, I think this one is so true that it isn't funny.

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